Learning The Bachelor Life Style

How odd is it that it took me most of my life before I learned some of the mystical secrets of modern life ?  Once I was actually faced with the reality of living alone I had to begin a process of knowing what the hell I liked.  Sound strange?  I remember once commenting to some friends that I liked everything Jill cooked.  She started to laugh and then blurted out with…”of course, that’s because I cook everything you like”.  But the really weird part of that was that while she knew what I liked…I really never thought about it. 


The reality of my bachelorhood started me on a very steep learning curve.  Some of which involved the intricate (and mystical) operation of a toaster oven.   My daughter introduced me to the toaster oven.   It looked simple enough and I was eventually able to make some toast (which I found out I was not fond of).  After a couple of months I became a bit frustrated with the design.  It seemed the drip pan simply would not balance itself on the heating elements.  I commented about this to a friend of mine when he came over to visit.  Scratching his head he took a look and began a series of belly laughs when he announced that what I was attempting to use as a drip pan was actually a baking sheet which should have been placed in the slots the same as the grill.  How the hell was I suppose to know this.  My  daughter placed the damn thing on the counter with that baking sheet sitting on the elements and a grill in the slots.  She did not point out that the metal sheet on the bottom was a baking sheet which you place in the slots.  It was a very small toaster oven and only had one set of slots.


Well two years later I am on my third toaster oven.  The first one simply died.  The second was quite large and had many mystical controls.  What I did not know is that you do not clean a toaster oven with Oven Cleaner.  Totally destroyed that one and recently purchased another just like it.  But now I know to clean  the inside of it each day with simple wiping with vinegar.  It took me two years to learn how to use and not destroy a toaster oven. 


With all the experimenting, I have made some progress in actually knowing what I like to eat…..but it seems to change and sort of comes and goes in cycles.  However, I can firmly state that I detest oats! I tried eating it for breakfast and gagged with each mouthful.  It has the texture of pond slime and the taste of wet paper.